The pastor said, “I now pronounce you Mr. and Mrs. Matthew Magillicuddy!” And the happy groom picked up his bride swinging her around as they hugged and kissed. Lucy gazed fondly at him. She was Mrs. Magillicuddy now.
At the reception Lucy’s Uncle David stood up and said, holding out a cup of cider, “A toast to mounds of Magillicuddys!” Glasses were clacked together and everyone drank their cider.
Someone else shouted, “Three cheers for the Magillicuddys! Hip, hip, hooray! Hip, hip, hooray! Hip, hip, hooray!”
Two months later when they found out that Lucy was expecting octuplets Matthew told her with a wink, “There really are going to be mounds of Magillicuddys!”
Mr. and Mrs. Magillicuddy had 63 children (31 boys and 32 girls) but I won't tell you all their names because that would probably take over an hour.
Anyway, the Magillicuddy family was in search of a home, and they found one that suited them quite well.
It had 3 bedrooms which concerned Mr. and Mrs. Magillicuddy when they were first looking at photos of it, but then they saw just how big the bedrooms were. The master bedroom was regular sized but the other two were huge! Mr. Magillicuddy said he thought they were each the size of a large department store. In addition to that, there was a backyard the size of a football field, and an immense dining room, kitchen, and living room. There were also a couple extra rooms that they could see being an office, library, and playroom. The only set back was that there were only five bathrooms. Mr. Magillicuddy scratched his chin but Mrs. Magillicuddy assured him, “We can manage!”
Mr. and Mrs. Magillicuddy looked at each other and both nodded at once. $100,000 was how much they had paid for a tiny 1,000 sq. ft. house when they were first married. After a few years of having octuplets and triplets and quadruplets it was getting tight. Now they had found the right sized house for their family for as much as they had paid for that tiny house years ago.
Mr. Magillicuddy immediately made an offer on the house and soon after they were moving in.
Moving day had come for the Magillicuddy family and it did not take long because there were so many helpers. Also, Mr. Arnold, the neighbor, had come to help.
Mr. Magillicuddy, Mr. Arnold, and all 31 boys were carrying the quadruple long sized couch and even though they were all helping, it still was a big job to hoist it up the front steps and to the living room.
They all sighed with relief when they were able to set the couch down.
But at that moment a truly dreadful thing happened. Everyone wanted to set the couch down very much so when they did, they did it with so much force and the couch was so heavy that it crashed through the floor!
The boys, Mr. Arnold, and Mr. Magillicuddy just stared with their mouths hanging wide open. “I'm not surprised,” Mr. Magillicuddy said, “that couch weighs 2,000 pounds.”
They were able to get the couch back onto the floor but after that they handled it VERY carefully.
Mr. Magillicuddy repaired the floor and they moved everything else in. It started to feel like home and everyone was happy that they had some room to move (unlike their old house).
One day the Magillicuddy family was on their way home from a walk, and the parents had the children walking in ‘buddy’ pairs so that they would take care of each other.
Annie and Avery were the children at the end of the line. Just as they saw their house about a mile off Annie said, “Who is that boy in front of us? I never can remember all the names.”
“That's Joel or Austin I think.” Avery replied.
The boy in front of them heard them talking and said, “I'm Austin. What are your names?”
This was always happening. Each child had to reintroduce himself a dozen times a day unless they were in the same pair like Annie and Avery were.
That evening was very peaceful (compared to other times, but it was still considerably noisy). Half of the children (which were little children) went to bed so only 31 ½ (if you can have half a child) were still up and doing the dinner dishes.
Mr. and Mrs. Magillicuddy were sitting in their bedroom, talking. “Dear, Allison is telling me that every time she wants to talk to someone she can't remember their name. She says it's really irritating. I wonder if we could make some way for them to remember each other’s names,” Mrs. Magillicuddy was saying.
“I can hardly remember their names myself… I’ve got it!” Mr. Magillicuddy replied, “We shall make a name tag for each of them. How does that sound?”
“What a splendid idea, Matthew!” Mrs. Magillicuddy exclaimed. She gave her husband an admiring smile and then the two of them worked hard into the night printing each child's name onto paper.
It was a very hard task but in the morning their work was rewarded. Each child had a name tag on a string hanging around their necks, and that pretty much solved the problem.
It was the middle of the night and all through the house not a creature was stirring except for Mrs. Magillicuddy. She was wide awake. “Hunny! Wake up, it’s time!” she exclaimed.
Mr. Magillicuddy rolled over in bed. Sleepily yet quite joyfully and excited he said, “Well, get in the car!”
Mrs. Magillicuddy hastened to the car while her husband woke up the oldest child and told him that they were leaving and that he was in charge while they were gone.
The next day Mr. Magillicuddy went back to the house and he and his five eldest drove the six vans to the hospital. “Daddy,” asked one of the children, “Did Mommy have twin boys or twin girls?”
Mr. Magillicuddy answered, “You will just have to wait and see.”
“I sure hope she had twin baby boys because then there would be 33 boys and only 32 girls. It would be splendid!” Avery said.
Annie rolled her eyes, “Of course Mommy had twin girls. You boys just want to be ahead in number. Its girls. I’m certain.”
The six vans presently came to the hospital parking lot. People passing by stared, puzzled, as tons of kids piled out.
Inside the hospital the family went down the hall and stood in front of the elevator. They all couldn’t possibly fit in one elevator so they divided into groups and took turns. After a while they all were finally on floor #5.
They entered the room where Mrs. Magillicuddy was, and everyone was completely silent. Mrs. Magillicuddy said, “Well, there is a boy and girl! That makes 33 girls and 32 boys! The girls are still ahead.” Everybody cheered.
The babies were passed around, and then Annie asked, “What are the babies’ names?”
Mr. Magillicuddy replied, “The baby girl is Lucy and the baby boy is David!” The boys all cheered because they loved the name David, and the girls all cheered because they thought Lucy was the perfect name for ‘such a darling little pumpkin’. The cheering nearly blasted a nurse’s eardrums out as she was passing through the hall. 63 voices cheering at the top of their lungs is really quite loud. “Shhhh,” Mrs. Magillicuddy said. The twins woke up and began crying.
A few days later Mrs. Magillicuddy went home with the twins and then there were 65 children.
David and Lucy would be “buddies” when they were older.
Six months passed since the twins had been born, and the Magillicuddy family found out that Mrs. Magillicuddy was pregnant again! The whole family was overjoyed.
One morning Mrs. Magillicuddy selected 28 of the children to go grocery shopping with her. They loaded up in 5 fifteen passenger vans (they had to take a lot to carry the groceries home in) and drove off to the local Costco.
On the way they listened to rowdy driving music and had a jolly time.
They drove into the parking lot and stopped.
All the children piled out and walked in pairs to the door streaming out across the parking lot in a completely straight line talking and laughing.
When they entered the building people stared at them and (as usual) asked Mrs. Magillicuddy if they were all hers. After hearing that there were 36 more kids their jaws dropped to the floor and they walked away texting their friends about it. Some people even wanted a picture to post on their ‘Most Amazing Thing That I’ve Seen Today’ Facebook page.
One woman asked Mrs. Magillicuddy if the family would be on a reality TV show. Mrs. Magillicuddy said no.
When everyone in the store had finally finished asking questions the children split up and went off to get a pallet of peanut butter or five dozen avocados or whatever they needed.
Annie and Avery were assigned to take care of David and Lucy (the twins) so they got a cart and set them in the double seat.
Annie looked at the list. “Our mission is to get the dairy products, the pallet of paper towels, and bandaids.”
“Alrighty then,” Avery turned the cart around and they started off to the dairy section.
“Ten gallons of milk…” Annie read. Once the milk was loaded into the cart Annie and Avery got butter and yogurt. The cart was filled to the top after the eight boxes of band aids were added in so they had to get a second one for the paper towels.
“There. We’re done!” Avery said.
Reading from the list again, Annie said, “We’re supposed to meet Mom at register 8.”
When the groceries were bought and loaded into the vans they all went home.
Avery and Annie helped to unload the food into the big pantry. It had shelves covering one side of the room and a few refrigerators and freezers against the other wall. Annie picked up two jugs of milk and brought them to the pantry. “Mmmm. Yum!” she said happily when she saw the pallet of peanut butter, “I think I’m going to ask if I can make some peanut butter chocolate chip cookies!”
Avery grinned in anticipation.
Can I Have a Pet?
Sun shone into the large girls’ room as Allison and Kaylie helped each other make their beds. Allison smoothed the wrinkles out and put her teddy bear on her pillow. Kaylie studied her little stuffed dog. “Wouldn’t it be splendid if we could have a dog? I’d just love to take it on walks and take care of it every day.” She said.
Annie was making her bed nearby. “One dog wouldn’t work. Everybody would always want to walk it on every walk we went on. I’m sure Daddy would have a good idea of what pet we could have 65 of.”
“Let’s ask him when we’re done with our chores!” Allison said excitedly tossing a pillow in the air.
The pillow happened to land on Kaylie’s head. She squealed and tossed it back. Allison grabbed another pillow and threw it at Annie and Kaylie got one also. Breathless and happy the girls put the pillows back into place and went down the stairs.
Their dad was sitting in his cushy armchair reading a book about businesses. Allison placed her hand on his arm. “Yes, Allison?” he asked glancing at her name tag.
“Daddy we want a pet. Can we have bunnies or parrots or mice or…?” she asked.
Thomas interrupted, chuckling, from the corner of the couch where he was reading a history book, “Or snakes or frogs…”
“Ew, no,” Kaylie objected, wrinkling up her nose.
“Well,” Mr. Magillicuddy said, “Why don’t we go to the pet shop in Sniterburg and pick out gold fish? You each could have your very own to take care of! What do you think?”
The girls clasped their hands. “Oh thank you, Daddy!” Allison exclaimed.
The next day Mr. Magillicuddy took all the children to the Sniterburg pet shop and they each picked out a goldfish. They were all wondering what they were going to keep their fish in but when they got home a surprise was waiting.
Annie and Avery came through the door first. They gasped at what they saw before them in the center of the living room, and Annie almost dropped the bag her little goldfish was in. “Watch out!” Avery yelled as it slipped out of her grasp. Annie caught the bag just before it hit the floor. Before them was a big round pool. It was filled with water, fish castles, and several bottles of fish food sat in the windowsill by it. “It’s beautiful!” Annie exclaimed hugging her parents.
The fish all got emptied out of their bags and into their magnificent new home. Allison, Kaylie, and Annie stood gazing at it. “I love it!” Kaylie said.
“It’s wonderful!” Allison agreed.
“It’s great!” Annie decided.
“How am I going to distinguish which one is mine?” Allison asked when she lost track of the little goldfish among all the others.
“I think yours is that one, Allison,” Kaylie replied, “Wouldn’t it be funny if our fish wore name tags like we do?” The girls started to giggle as they pictured it in their heads.
“That would be hilarious!” Annie and Allison agreed.